Title: Relativity
Author: Vesper (Regina)
E-mail: vespertanmer@yahoo.com
Warnings: none
Category: Vignette
Spoilers: all things, The Field Where I Died, Monday
Summary: The ancient puzzle of free will versus predestination.
Disclaimer: I have borrowed many things here, including the
characters of Mulder and Scully. I make no profit from this.
Thanks to Tiny Dancer's Episode Guide for the transcripts of the
above episodes, from which I quoted verbatim.
Archival: If you wish to archive, please link to my website.
Please keep all my headers intact.

*

CLYDE BRUCKMAN: Imagine all the things that had to occur....
--"Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose"
**
SCULLY: While we - we - we just keep driving.
--"Dreamland"
**
MULDER: It's an ouroboros ... The alchemists favored it. They
believe that it represented all of existence.
--"Millennium"

*

He is warm against me as we sit on this leather couch. His voice
is soothing as he answers me, its gravel texture lulling my
senses.

"And all the... choices would then lead to this very moment. One
wrong turn, and.... we wouldn't be sitting here together. Well,
that says a lot." I cannot keep my eyes open. The hypnotic
rhythm softens my muscles, and the wave of sleep washes over me.
My eyes close, and I can still hear him, a distant rumble, "That
says a lot, a lot, a lot. That's probably more than we should be
getting into at this late hour."

His voice fades out, and I can feel him shift his weight, a
subtle movement. In the grips of sleep I am held still, and no
reaction shows when he feather-softly caresses the hair from my
face and curls it round my ear.

I must be dreaming now. He moves away from me, but I can still
hear his voice, dim sounds, a memory maybe of things he has said
to me, ...somebody told you that... we'd been friends together in
other lifetimes... wouldn't it have changed some of the ways we
looked at each other?

I shake my head--No, I think that we're free to be the people
that we are--good, bad or indifferent. I think that it's our
character that determines our fate.

He sounds frustrated--And all the rest is just preordained?

I have no answer for him. The minute wisps of dust swirl in the
light he disturbs as he leaves me. Even in dreams, he conquers
my offense. I am forever questioning his theories, and he never
answers my questions.

The door closes...and my eyes slowly open. In the languor of
sleep, my body feels weak, unable to move. What woke me? I
stretch, and the blanket slides from my shoulders. His door is
closed.

"And all the rest is just preordained?" I can almost taste the
words that follow, almost form them.... When has he said those
words to me? The memory escapes me, and the sense of déjà vu is
so strong; ...repressed memories escaping the unconscious... his
voice slides in my mind.

I pull the blanket back up to my chin and bring my prickling legs
to rest on the couch.

Fate or free will? For the ancient Greeks, fate was not a
philosophy, but a fact, the three goddesses weaving a tangible
web. The tapestry of each life was carefully constructed,
twisted into others so carefully that each choice touched and
depended on the other. Edith Hamilton's adaptation of the story
of Admetus dances in my memory.

Is it free will that orders our existence or is it the higher
power taught in the impersonal catechism that leads us, that lets
us make our choices, and never interferes when we have wandered
off to pick that tempting fruit, those blackberries we never
washed?

Itching feet and itching fingers led me off into the briar
patches; I had no care for the scratches I received, the long red
welts cleaned at the end of the day by my mother's gentle hands.
Each day was long, long and sunny, the warmth soaking me,
infusing me with life.

I can see myself, little Dana, long blond hair, stretching to
reach that final blackberry. In the late sun, the green bed was
never more alive.

What choices did we make then? We were children, and the higher
power ruled our lives, made choices for us. We could not even
see our innocence. And the days grew shorter and the choices
were thrust upon us, and we could no longer luxuriate in the long
summer sun.

Time is relative, Einstein proved, not a universal invariant. To
the observer each frame of reference is different. To the child,
the days are long; to the adult the days are short. Words from
my senior thesis come back to me: "In fact, all physical
processes appear to slow down when viewed from a different
uniformly moving frame."

Today, the long days of childhood were summoning me. Slowed,
each moment was precious, and each moment led to a revelation
that whispered, and it told me, with the subtle swish of leaves
in a tree, to take stock of each precious moment before it
passes.

Each choice, each moment led to an irrevocable puncture in the
tapestry of fate, and each choice I have made, has led me here,
where I rest on my best friend's couch, the leather soft under
me. I have seen those endless forks in the road that have shaped
my life. I cannot change them.

So I sleep.

End.

*

References (for those interested):

Admetus--Apollo's son, Aesculapius, made Hades jealous because he
raised the dead. He was killed by Zeus, and Apollo, in
retribution, executed the makers of Zeus' thunderbolts. His
punishment was to live as a servant to a mortal. He chose
Admetus, who treated him well. As reward, Apollo assisted
Admetus in winning his wife, Alcestis. One day he heard that the
Fates were about to cut Admetus' thread of life. He "obtained
from them a respite" in the form of the promise that if someone
else died in Admetus' place, he would live. No one except
Alcestis was willing to do it. So she died, and in the midst of
the mourning, Hercules came to visit. When he learned Alcestis
was dead, he fought death for her and returned her to Admetus.
(Mythology, Edith Hamilton)

The quote, "In fact, all physical processes appear to slow down
when viewed from a different uniformly moving frame" is actually
from a paper (Physics 1501-Modern Technology by Randy Kobes and
Gabor Kunstatter) found at
http://theory.uwinnipeg.ca/mod_tech/tech.html
Used without permission. I recommend reading the chapter on
Special Relativity--it will explain a lot from the pilot of The
X-Files, and explode a few fallacies--Scully could not possibly
have re-interpreted Einstein's Twin Paradox.