Title: My Motives
Author: Vesper (Regina)
E-mail: vespertanmer@yahoo.com
Warnings: none
Category: V
Keywords: UST
Spoilers: Detour
Summary: Why the conversation in the woods? Scully POV.
Disclaimer: I am not staking a claim on them. They belong to
Chris Carter.
Archival: If you wish to archive, please link to my website.
Please keep all my headers intact.

*

It is said that there is often an underlying and subconscious
desire to discover the truth. Truth, however, is notoriously
subjective. Motives are often murky and unsatisfying if
explained. Therefore my explanation concerning my underlying
motives at the onset of the Ad Noctum case may be somewhat
stilted and confusing.

I confess, I am like any woman in that I want to be understood.
My relationship with my partner Agent Mulder is one that requires
few words to fathom. I am leery of looking deeper into what
holds it together for fear that it would fall apart. That I am
attracted to him is no mystery; that we are closer than most
partners, is. At times, communication for us requires no words,
and there are also times when words could do more good than none.
Still, despite the lack of midnight confessions, we have forged a
link that holds and solidifies with each glancing touch, each
sliding look, each nod or shake, or movement of our heads.

If someone were to study our kinesics, I believe we would be
mistaken for husband and wife. Outside casual observers often
stumble on it by accident, seeing something that brings us closer
than we actually are.

When Agents Stonecypher and Kinsley suggested we join them in
what I knew Mulder would consider a huge waste of time, I knew I
must accept. Our link needed reinforcement. A seminar on
communication seemed ideal. However, where Mulder goes,
weirdness follows, and so do I.

I believe my compulsiveness to follow to be composed equally of
the man and the mystery. The cases we investigate defy
explanation, but the pieces of the unsolved still fascinate and
capture me. This case was no different. I assisted him because
he needed me to.

One cannot force a revealing moment. I should understand and
respect that by now. Wine and cheese in hand I tried to create
an atmosphere fit for 'consorting' but he ran from me, and I was
left with my revelation unsaid.

The hunter being hunted became a strange parallel for the chase I
started. He was able to escape me once, but the hunters drove us
together rather than apart.

My revelation was a simple one, 'we are all faced with the
thought of mortality'. What good it did our relationship is
unknown. As a woman, I tend to think any intimacy breeds
intimacy, so that may have been the only advantage.

That and being able to hold my partner in my arms.

My motives may be hard to understand, however is that not what
makes women so mysterious to men?

Now you know.

End.